Monday, March 9, 2015

Circus at the Library

Markus Majaluoma 2011: Sirkus saapuu kirjastoon

Ode to the Finnish Library institute.

There is a new intern at the library for the summer. The director instructs the intern, Maximilia that there is always a right book for whatever the customer wants. Then the director leaves for vacation. Maximilia opens the doors.

 First comes in a couple, a cat and a dog, pushing and shoving each other. The cat wants a book, in which the dogs are taught to sit still and not to pant at birthday parties. The dog wants a book, in which cats are taught to scratch the dog from the right place and to serve them real meat. Maximilia thinks real hard, but cannot figure out which book to give them. Then he picks up a book called “Fixing Gardens”. Nobody wants to eat meat after reading that book and it shows how to build a deck. The cat can host parties and the dog can have its own doghouse. The cat and the dog leave happy.

Next comes a lion, speaking in savo dialect. He wants to read a book about fishing. The lion is stressed out about being the ruler of the animal kingdom. Maximilian gives him “Oriental sitting practices”. It teaches how to sit still as in fishing.

Elephant wants a dieting book, because everyone laughs at it when it comes to stage. Maximillia hands out “The great Ballet syllabus”.

Clown comes in apologetic and is looking for a book about the diversity of human nature in literature. Maximilia picks up all the books that are taken out of circulation and piles them up in the clown’s big pants. The clown thinks it is a marvelous idea and plans on installing a reading light in there as well.

The pack of dog youth wants to use the internet. Maximilia gives them the passwords, but warns them not to surf the cat sites. It is strictly forbidden form dogs.

It is almost closing time, when Maximilia hears a small voice. Two lice want a tiny book. Maximilia gives them a microchip with all the books of the world. At home Maximilia picks a book and reads it. Any book will do.

Nowadays you can borrow anything from the library: board games, movies, video games, guitars, skies, skates, drills…. Needless to say, I appreciate library enormously. I guess it also gives the chance to read all the books in the world. And to quote Albert Einstein: “The only thing that you absolutely have to know, is the location of the library.” That is so true.

 I have always wondered, why you cannot return a book back to the store, if you do not like it. You can return almost anything, except books and movies. I have stopped going to the movies, because the tickets are so expensive and most of the movies are so violent that I do not consider them entertainment anymore. How is killing entertainment anyways? There is enough violence in the news. Anyway, I hate to buy a book only to realize that is wasn’t a good book after all. Library solves that problem. I borrow a book and if I like it, then I buy it. This is great with childrens’ books. We test read the library book and then if the boys (or I) like it, then I buy it. I also like the e-books that do not take any self spaces. We have too much stuff as it is. Even though, I do not think there is ever too many books.

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